The Sacred Role of Parents in Islam | Facts about the Muslims & the Religion of Islam
In today’s rapidly changing world, a pressing concern is emerging: a decline in respect for parental authority and values. A recent market research company Ipsos revealed that many parents feel their children lack basic virtues like respect, honesty, and gratitude.1 This poses a significant challenge, as it points to the broader issue of parental influence weakening in society. Within the context of Islam, the significance of parental influence is deeply ingrained in the teachings of the faith, emphasized throughout the Quran and the traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Islam encourages mutual respect and care between parents and children, as they are both bound together by mutual obligations within the religion2.
Let’s delve into this critical discourse, exploring the wisdom and guidance Islam offers on fostering mutual respect and care between parents and children.
Significance of Parents
Firstly, Islam emphasizes the role of parents within the family structure, with the Quran repeatedly asking believers to honor, respect, and care for their parents.
In the Quran, God says, “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’” [Quran 17:23-24].
The Quran has essentially obligated children to treat their parents with goodness and respect, with these verses highlighting the emotional and spiritual support that a child owes to their parents which transcends physical care. The obligation of a child is to show gratitude and love towards their parents, and to treat them with respect. As long as they are not disobeying Allah in the process, they should strive to maintain a healthy relationship with their parents and keep them happy.
Allah says: “But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with me others of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly…” [Quran 31:15].
This verse portrays the only exception in which parents may be disobeyed, and that is if they ask their children to worship other Gods and fall astray from the path of Islam. Otherwise, children are obligated to be obedient, patient and tolerant with their parents, treating them with the utmost reverence and respect. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) regarded the action of disobeying one’s parents as a grave sin.
Pleasing Parents to Please God
The importance of parents in Islam transcends mere filial duty; it extends to the spiritual realm as well. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized the significance of serving parents in numerous hadiths. In one instance, he said, “The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent” (Tirmidhi).3
This highlights the direct correlation between obedience to parents and the pleasure of Allah. Part of Islam and pleasing Allah is pleasing your parents, so treating them with kindness and respect and having a strong healthy connection with them is crucial in Islam to gain good deeds. Serving one’s parents and fulfilling their rights is not only considered a good deed, but it is a means of attaining closeness to Allah and the religion. Furthermore, it is important to pray for parents after they pass, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) told us such prayer would be regarded as continuous charity
The Role of Your Mother
In Islam, mothers hold an unparalleled status, as one famous statement of the Prophet teaches us that Paradise lies at the feet of mothers.
Mu’awiyah ibn Jahima reported: Jahima came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, I intend to join the military expedition, and I seek your counsel.” The Prophet said, “Do you have a mother?” He said yes. The Prophet said, “Stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.”3 (Sunan al-Nasa’i 3104)
As mothers took major sacrifices and pains in the upbringing of their children, Islam obligates believers to treat their mothers with unwavering respect and care to repay them for their kindness. The Hadith above is a metaphorical way of highlighting the respect and honor a mother should receive as she may be the key to Paradise for their children or tipping the scales in their favor. The Prophet also emphasized that it is the mother who has the first claim on the child’s care and attention4 which is why they must be shown even greater kindness as compared to the father.
“Once a man came to the Holy Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be kind?’ The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Be kind to your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then whom?’ The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then whom?’ The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then whom?’ The Messenger of Allah said, “Be kind to your father.”5
Duties of the Children
In addition to honoring parents, Islam emphasizes the duty of children to seek knowledge and wisdom from their parents, and to provide for their parents if they are able to do so. Knowledge is highly valued in Islam, and a child first learns values of faith, morality, and character from their parents.
Furthermore, providing for one’s parents is obligatory for children if they can do so physically and financially if they are in need. A concept referred to as “Ihsaan” in the Quran, sums up the matter as it denotes doing what is good or beautiful2. This includes showing parents kindness, respect, gratitude, praying for them, and financially supporting them. Ihsaan is essentially to do something for others while expecting nothing in return.
Allah says in the Quran, “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” [Quran 31:14]
This verse aims to show how supporting and being grateful for one’s parents and God is significant in Islam and attaining closeness with the religion.
Conclusion
For those seeking to understand Islam, the emphasis on the importance of parents provides insights into some of the ethical frameworks of the religion. Islam itself as a religion acts as a comprehensive way of life, providing guidance on fostering strong family bonds, nurturing respect, and maintaining a good relationship with one’s parents.
The importance of parents in Islam cannot be overstated. They occupy a central position in the teachings of the Quran and the traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), with respect, honor, and care for them being fundamental Islamic principles and generally essential aspects of decent humanity and compassion. By recognizing the sacred role of parents in Islam, one can better appreciate the holistic ethos of the religion, which emphasizes the interconnectedness of faith and family.
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