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EXPERT Muslim Psychologist Reveals the Secret to MAKING Marriage Work



Expert Muslim Counselling Psychologist, Dr Abdallah Rothman answers our biggest questions on marriage.

Dr. Abdallah has over 20 years’ experience as a counselling psychologist and has worked with couples and families in a diverse range of settings. His experiences draw upon different styles of therapy along with an immersive focus on the Islamic spiritual tradition.

Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
00:25 – What are the most common things that destroy marriages?
04:41 – What are some psychological skills that would assist couples?
08:07 – What can couples do to avoid underlying issues in their marriage?
09:38 – What can single people do to prepare themselves for marriage?
12:50 – What should married couples practice more of?
14:40 – How can couples avoid conflict in their marriage?

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29 Comments

  1. If one has a narcissist as a partner n if you focus on improving yourself n just doing for them they the narcissist partner will just use n abuse you.

    Everything else you say is true.

  2. By hearing all this i conclude its useless to get married bcoz if you go out n face challenges and comeback to more challenges then you have no peace n marriage is suppose to get peace in ur spouse according to Quran …..

  3. Brilliant and important advice mashAllah may Allah accept and may more people adhere to these teachings from the perfect Deen to benefit and find the sukoon and success of both worlds Aameen

  4. Mash-Allah. Allah has gifted this Psychologist with the Hikmah and Eloquence. Him giving therapeutic advices in the light of Islam is so pleasing to watch. Jazak Allah ❤

  5. If you have a brother who is ambitionend just like you and you both have mohabba between one another marrying within this bond (meaning one marries from the family of the other) there will be much more effort put into working things out. Thats what we call brotherhood which we dont have at the moment but I think it is coming

  6. People look at marriage as a lottery ticket. They believe that they have found someone who's going to make life easier for them. When they realize marriage have duties, structure, and orders, they panic and look to get out. 🤔🫡

  7. ياناس وّالَلَه ماتكلمتَ الَا من جوّع وًّمَنَ ضَيَقَ الَحَالَ انَا وًّامَيَ وًّاخَوًّتَيَ تَشَرَدَنَا مَنَ بَيَوًّتَنَا بَسَبَبَ الَحَرَبَ نَحَنَ فَيَ حَالَهَ لَايَعَلَمَ بَهَا الَا الَلَهَ حَسَبَنَا الَلَهَ وًّنَعَمَ الَوكيَلَ فَيَ مَنَ اوًّصَلَنَا الَى هَاذا الَحَالَ 💔💔وًّالَلَهَ الَعَظَيَمَ مَا كتَبَتَ هَذا الَمَنَاشَدَهَ غَيَرَ مَنَ الَضَيَقَ وّالَفَقَر يَاعَالَمَ حَسَوّا فَيَنَا ارَجَوّكمَ وّالَلَهَ الَعَظَيَمَ رَبَ الَعَرَشَ الَعَظَيَمَ انَه الَاكلَ مَا فَيَ عَنَدَيَ بَالَبَيَتَ وًّالَلَهَ يَا اخَوّانَيَ انَهَ اخَوًّنَيَ بَقَعَدَوًّ بَالَيَوًّمَيَنَ مَافَى اكلَ وًّالَلَهَ وًّضَعَنَا كثَيَرَ صَعَبَ نَحَنَ 4 نَفَرَ دَاخَلَ الَبَيَتَ وًّابَيَ مَتَوًّفَيَ وًّلَا يَوًّجَدَ مَنَ يَعَوًّلَ عَلَيَنَا وًّسَاكنَيَنَ فَيَ بَيَتَ اجَارَ لَانَسَتَطَيَعَ دَفَعَ الَاجَارَ الَلَيَ بَاقَيَ عَلَيَنَا ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' اخي اول كلامي انا اقسم بالله على كتاب الله اني لااكذب عليك ولا انصب ولا احتال اني بنت يمنيه نازحين من الحرب انا واسرتي بيننا ايجار وصاحب البيت والله يا اخي انه يجي كل يوم يبهدلنا ويتكلم علينا ويريد من البيت للشارع لانناماقدرنا ندفعله الأجار شافونا الجيران نبكي ورجعو تكلمو الجيران ومهلنالاخره الأسبوع معادفعنا له حلف يمين بالله هذا بيخرجنا إلى الشارع رحمه واحنا. بلادنا بسبب هذا الحرب ولانجد قوت يومنا وعايشين اناوامي واخوتي سفار والدنا متوفي الله يرحمه ومامعنا أحد في هذا الدنيا جاانبنا في هذه الظروف القاسيه اخوتي الصغار خرجو للشارع وشافو الجيران ياكلو واوقفو عند بابهم لجل يعطوهم ولو كسره خبز والله الذي له ملك السموات والارض انهم غلفو الباب وطردوهم ورجعو یبکو ایموتو من الجوع ما احد رحمهم وعطلة ردها لقمت عیش والان لوما احدنا ساعدنا في إيكيلو دقيق اقسم بالله انموت من الجوع فيا اخي انا دخيله على الله ثم عليك واريد منك المساعده لوجه الله انشدك بالله تحب الخير واتساعدني ولو ب 60 الف ريال يمني ندفع إيجار البيت المتأخر علينا قبل أن يطردونا في الشارع مع تراسلي واتساب على هذا الرقم 00967716649494 وتطلب اسم بطاقتي وترسلي ولاتتاخر وايعوضك الله بكل خير اخواني سغار شوف كيف حالتهم وساعدنا وأنقذنا قبل أن يطردونا في الشارع تتبهدل أو نموت من الجوع وانا واسرتي نسالك بالله لولك مقدره على مساعد لاتتاخر علينا وجزاك الله خيرا،.،.،:^:؛^:»»»»🎉»»»˝«»»🎉^^^^≠:::::::≤≤≤≤≤≤≤>\\\\‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘///////////‰… =))«-)&»☆&«.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ.ـ‘,¯,،.‘,¯,،.‘,¯,،.‘,¯,،.‘,¯,،.‘,¯,،.‘,¯,،.😢🎉😢😢😢😢

  8. Assalamu alaykum brother! We need your help to raise awareness about the hijab ban in Tajikistan 🇹🇯. The government has banned wearing the hijab, and they are fining and arresting women who wear it on the streets. They have been trying for a long time to secularize the public and make them less religious. Men under 18 are not allowed to go to the mosque, teaching Tajweed is illegal, and men are not allowed to have beards. They imprison anyone who speaks out, and we don’t know what to do. Please pray for us and help spread the word!

  9. Daily Reminder: Try to supplicate this dua every single day to become a habit.

    1. Dua That Guarantees You Forgiveness (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

    Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) said:

    "Whoever gets up at night and says:

    La ilaha 'illa Allaahu, wahdahu la shareeka lahu

    lahul mulku, wa lahul hamdu, wa huwa ala kulli shayin qadeer.

    Subhana allaahi, wal hamdu lillaahi, wa la illaaha ila Allaah,

    wa Allaahu akbar, waLa hawla wa la quwwata illa billaah.

    There is none worthy of worship in truth except Allah Alone,

    He has no partners, He has the Dominion and for Him is all praise,

    and He is capable of all things, praise is for Him,

    and Allah is free from imperfection,

    and There is none worthy of worship in truth except Allah,

    and Allah is the Greatest,

    there is no capability nor is there any power except with Allah.

    "Then he says:

    Allaahumma aghfirlee.

    O Allah forgive me!

    Or he supplicates and his supplication is answered,

    and if he makes Wudhu and prays, then his prayer is accepted.

    2. Dua That Guarantees You Jannah (Sahih Al-Jami, An-Nasa'i, Ibn Hibban)

    Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) said:

    "Whoever recites Ayatul Kursi, verse 255 from chapter number 2,

    Surat Al Baqarah after every obligatory prayer,

    then nothing is stopping him or her from entering Jannah,

    except one thing: Death."

    3. Dua That Wipe Away Sins (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Muslim, At-Tirmidhi)

    Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) said:

    "Whoever says:

    Subhana allaahi, wa bihamdih

    Allah is free from imperfection, and I praise Him.

    "a hundred times during the day, his sins are wiped away,

    even if they are like the foam of the sea."

    4. Phrases That Are Heavier On The Scales Than An Entire Morning Of

    Recitation (Sahih Muslim)

    Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) said:

    "I recited four words three times after I had left you.

    If these are to be weighed against all you have recited since morning,

    these will be heavier." These are:

    Subhan-Allahi wa bihamdihi, 'adada khalqihi, wa rida nafsihi,

    wa zinatah 'arshihi, wa midada kalimatihi.

    Allah is free from imperfection and I begin with His praise,

    as many times as the number of His creatures,

    in accordance with His Good Pleasure, equal to the weight of His Throne

    and equal to the ink that may be used in recording the words

    (for His Praise).

    5. Dua To Stay On The Right Path (Sahih Muslim)

    Ya musarrifa-l quloobi sarrif qalbi ala ta’atik.

    O, Allah! The One Who turns the hearts,

    turn my heart towards Your obedience.

    6. Dua To Be Save From Totrments Of Grave

    Allahumma inni wa a'udhu bika min adhabil qabri

    O, Allah! Saves us from the torments of the grave.

    7. Dua For The Best In The Dunya And Hereafter

    Rabbana atina fid-dunya hasanatan, wa fil'akhirati hasanatan,

    waqina 'adhaban-nar.

    O, Allah! Our Lord give us all the good of this world,

    and the good of the hereafter,

    and Save us from the punishment of the Fire.

    8. Dua To Help Pay Off Your Debts (Sahih At-Tirmidhi)

    Allahum-makfinee bi halaalika 'an haraamika wa aghninee bifadhlika

    'amman siwaaka

    O, Allah! Suffice me with what You have allowed instead of what You

    have forbidden, and make me independent of all others besides You.

    9. Dua Of The Treasures Of Paradise (Sahih Al-Bukhari, At-Tirmidhi)

    Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) said:

    "Shall I not tell you of a word which is one of the treasures of

    Paradise?"

    La hawla wa la quwaata illa billah

    There is no power and no strength except with Allah.

    10. Dua To Literally Boost Your Energy

    Before you sleep recite:

    Subhana allaah 33x, Alhamdulilah 33x,

    Allahu akbar 34x

    11. Dua That Protects You From All Evil, Magic And Affliction

    (Sahih Ibn Majah, Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi)

    Bismillaahil-lathee laa yadhurru ma'as-mihi shay'un fil-'ardhi wa laa

    fis-samaa'i wa Huwas-Samee'ul-'Aleem.

    In the Name of Allah, with Whose nothing can cause harm in the

    earth nor in the heavens, and He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.

    12. Dua To Get Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) Help in Yawm Al Qiyamah

    (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

    Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) said:

    "Whoever says the following, after hearing the call of adhan,

    the call of prayer I will intercede for them yawm al qiyamah."

    Allaahumma Rabba haathihid-da 'watit-taammati wassalaatil-qaa'imatah,

    Aati Muhammadanil-waseelata walfadheelah, Wab 'ath-hu

    maqaamam-mahmoodanil-lathee wa'adtah.

    O, Allah! the Lord of this perfect call, and the lord of the prayer

    that is about to be established, grant Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

    al waseela, Resurrect him with that status, that is so praise worthy,

    which you have already promised.

    13. Dua Forgiveness All Believers

    Allahumma ighfir lil muslimeena wal-muslimaat, wal-mu'mineena

    wal-mu'minaat, al-ahyaa'i minhom wal-amwat.

    O, Allah! forgive the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men

    and the believing women, the alive from them and the dead.

    14. Benefits Reciting Surah Ikhlas

    – Reciting 3 times a day is equivalent to reciting the whole Qur'an.

    – Reciting 10 times a day and Allah will build for him a house in paradise.

    15. Sayyidul Istighfar (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Sahih Al-Jami, At-Tirmidhi)

    Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) said:

    " If somebody recites this invocation (given below) during the day, and if

    he should die then, he will be from the people of Jannah. And if he recites

    it in the night, and if he should die on the same day, he will be from

    the people of Jannah.”

    Allahuma anta Rabbi la ilaha illa anta, Khalaqtani wa ana 'Abduka, wa ana

    'ala 'ahdika wa wa 'dika mastata 'tu, A 'udhu bika min Sharri ma sana'tu,

    abu'u Laka bini'matika'alaiya, wa abu'u laka bidhanbi faghfir lee fa innahu

    la yaghfiru adhdhunuba illa anta.

    O, Allah! You are my Lord! None has the right to be worshipped but You. You

    created me and I am Your slave, and I am faithful to my convenant and my

    promise as much as I can. I seek refuge with You from all the evil I have

    done. I acknowledge before You all the blessings You have bestowed upon me,

    and I confess to You all my sins. So I entreat You to forgive my sins, for

    nobody can forgive sins except You.

    16. Dua For Protection From Shirk

    Allahumma inni a`udhu bika an ushrika bika wa ana a`lamu wa astaghfiruka

    lima la a`lamu

    O, Allah! I seek refuge in You from knowingly associating partners with You,

    and I seek Your forgiveness for that which I do not know.

    17. Allah is sufficient for me Dua (Sahih Ibn As Sunni, Abu Dawud)

    Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) said:

    "Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever

    he desires from this world or the next."

    Hasbiyallahu la ilaha illa huwa, 'alaihi tawakkaltu, wa huwa rabbul 'arsyil 'adheem.

    Allah is sufficient for me. There is none worthy of worship but Him. I have placed

    my trust in Him. He is the Lord of the Majestic throne.

    18. Dua when entering market (Sahih At-Tirmidhi, Al-Hakim)

    Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) said:

    "Whoever enters the markets and says (the dua below) Allah shall record a million good

    deeds for him, wipe a million evil deeds away from him, and raise a million ranks for him."

    Laa ilaaha illa Allaahu wahdahu laa shareeka lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu,

    yuhyee wa yumeetu, wa Huwa hayyun laa yamootu, biyadihil-khayru, wa Huwa alaa

    kulli shayin Qadeer.

    There is no Lord except Allah. He is One and has no partners. His is the Kingdom

    and for Him are all praises. He gives life and gives death. He is eternal and

    everlasting In His control is goodness, and He has power over everything.

    Insya Allah, may it benefits you guys.

    This hadiths and duas that I learned are from many Islamic channels like

    MercifulServant, TheProphetsPath, The Daily Reminder, ilovUAllah, Sense Islam,

    OnePath Network and more. May Allah bless the speakers, the Islamic channel teams

    for sharing this knowledge. May Allah grant all of us Jannatul Firdous! Ameen!

    Copy it, save it, act upon it and share it. Hopefully by sharing it to others will be

    recorded by the Angels as sadaqah Jariyah.

  10. My take away is:
    1) focus on being the right person instead of on finding the right person, and
    2) remember that marriage is ultimately about achieving success in the akhirah, so that every difficulty and annoyance becomes an opportunity to level up.

  11. MashaAllah this a talk is binshmark for every couple before, and after marriage. It simplified the true message of Marriage in Islam الحمدلله Alhamdulilah "Balance is 🔑" towards unity inshaAllah 🙌 Ameen

  12. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته.
    بارك الله فيك وفي علمك يا أخي 🤲 جزاكم الله خيرا على هذا المحتوى الطيب🤲

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